In many countries today people are moving from rural areas into urban centers. Why are they doing this? What problems can this cause.

Society is very different today
due to
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industrialisation.
City
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life is becoming busier with the development of the world. Many are moving to the capital from the
suburbs
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.
This
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essay will explain why I think people are moving and what problems it can
cause
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. There are many reasons why people are moving from the
suburbs
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to the
city
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.
First,
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life in the
city
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is easier compared to rural
areas
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. In Urban
areas
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, health care facilities, groceries and other services are much more accessible. When living in the
city
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, everyone can find anything they need a block away from home.
Second,
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work opportunities are abundant. Young people often move to the
city
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looking for jobs or a better education.
Last
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but not least, living in cities is more fun. There are various types of entertainment in the
city
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. Cinema, amusement parks and popular places all prefer to open in cities.
However
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, the more the population shifts to urban
areas
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, the more issues it can
cause
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.
First,
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most big cities are overpopulated. The growing population makes it expensive to live there. Access to healthcare and education , and other basic services is less accessible.
Second,
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being in the
suburbs
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becomes harder and less developed. With the population in the
suburbs
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decreasing, businesses are less likely to operate there.
This
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makes things more expensive and less available in rural
areas
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.
Finally
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,
this
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can
cause
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environmental problems. An overcrowded
city
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can result in an increase in greenhouse gases. Farming will become difficult
,
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apply
show examples
as manpower shifts. In conclusion, it is clear to see why moving to the urban
areas
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is appealing.
However
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, everyone needs to understand that
this
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relocation pattern can be the
cause
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of some serious problems.

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task achievement
Use clearer examples to support your points. For instance, add details about entertainment options or types of jobs available in cities.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking sentences better to improve flow. For example, connect ideas about city life with the reasons people are drawn to it more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You presented good reasons for moving to the city.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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