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Writing Samples
Band 6

Is Competition or Cooperation More Beneficial in Daily Life?

Have you ever considered whether having competition in your daily life truly benefits you and the
people
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 around you? In
this
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 essay, I will argue whether cooperating with your colleagues is more effective than being competitive, whether at school, at work, or in everyday life.
Initially
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, being overly competitive in daily life—especially in school or the workplace—might seem like a positive trait.
While
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 it may encourage
people
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 to give 100% of their energy, it can
also
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 negatively affect others. Constant competition can lead to stress, exhaustion, and even burnout, which may eventually result in decreased productivity and poor mental health.
On the other hand
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, cooperating with your colleagues might seem less exciting to some.
However
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, collaboration has many positive effects. It promotes harmony, helps individuals avoid unnecessary conflict, and allows
people
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 to maintain steady energy levels throughout the day
instead
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 of exhausting themselves in a relentless race. Personally, I believe that cooperation is the safer and more sustainable path to take.
Although
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 occasional competition can be fun and motivating
—
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,
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as one Cambridge article suggested, humans can push themselves beyond 200% in a competitive environment—relying on
this
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 long-term is not always healthy or effective. In conclusion,
people
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 have their own preferred ways of living—some thrive in competitive environments,
while
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 others excel through cooperation. It is not for us to decide how others live, even if we believe one way is better than the other.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas clearly with connecting words and phrases. Use words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to help with flow.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mention a specific situation or study that illustrates the benefits of cooperation or competition.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion in your essay, which is good.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument, showing you understand the topic well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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