Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Today's tourist industries are currently improving and
expanded
Wrong verb form
expanding
show examples
by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
largest numbers of developing countries. Some famous places
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been invested in recent years
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
other areas are still left behind or even
abandon
Wrong verb form
abandoned
show examples
.In my opinion, both negative and
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
are very important nowadays.First of all, it can meet the local
people
Use synonyms
’s job demands. To explain,
this
Linking Words
type of industry requires a large
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
,
include
Replace the word
including
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who have no job or
experiment
Check wording
experience
show examples
.Having local
people
Use synonyms
working will help tourists understand more about the culture and identity of each region.
For example
Linking Words
:
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
Southeast Asia, initiatives like community-based tourism in rural Vietnam or ecotourism projects
inprovinces
Correct your spelling
in provinces
directly employ villagers as guides, homestay hosts, and craftspeople.
This
Linking Words
not only provides much-needed income but
also
Linking Words
allows visitors to learn about traditional farming practices, local folklore, and unique culinary traditions firsthand.On the other
sides
Check wording
hand
show examples
, we can see that
this
Linking Words
development is not only positive but
also
Linking Words
negative. It helps to increase jobs for local
people
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
travel markets for businesses
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
introduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
introduces
show examples
the culture of these nations to the world.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
contributes to the polluted environment.As many
people
Use synonyms
waste plastic bags and leftover foods into surrounding areas, the lands can be filled with a huge amount of garbage and some species may suffer from the loss of their habitat.In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are still many contrary opinions in tourism extension, I believe that both off all are advantages and
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.Especially, we can maintain a good relationship with other countries

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to improve your introduction to clearly state your main points. It should include a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are organized and each one focuses on a single idea. Use transition words like 'firstly,' 'on the other hand,' and 'in conclusion' to help with flow.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help make your ideas clearer and stronger.
Task Achievement
Good effort in discussing both sides of the argument regarding tourism.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant examples that relate to your points, like community-based tourism in Vietnam.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
What to do next:
Look at other essays: