IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

today many people work until a later age. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of the world, a large number of individuals tend to be employed past the retirement age. Some
people
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 argue that
people
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 should retire once they reach a certain age,
while
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 others opine that there are many advantages to it.
This
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 essay intends to examine the benefits and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drawbacks of working until a later age, and
then
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 come to a conclusion. First and foremost, elderly
people
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 often feel lonely and bored at home, waiting for their family members to visit, which may have caused them to stay idle at home, being inactive in their surroundings.
Due to
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this
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, some
people
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 in the elderly population like to stay active by working to share their experiences,
as well as
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 their skills, with the younger generations.
Moreover
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, these individuals may
also
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 want to contribute positively to society by joining the workforce and earning an income.
For example
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,
olderage
Correct your spelling
older
people
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 often help out in their family business to lessen the burden and relieve boredom.
Conversely
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, there are
also
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 many drawbacks to
this
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. Frequently, old
people
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 may find it difficult to move around swiftly or quickly during their job
due to
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 strain in their muscles and pain in their
body
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bodies
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 could result in dangerous accidents or cause
further
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 harm to their body.
For instance
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,
people
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 who are above 70 may find it overwhelming to carry heavy objects
due to
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 their small body size.
Furthermore
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, many
people
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 believe that old
people
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 deserve rest and ought to spend their precious time with their loved ones,
instead
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 of working. In conclusion,
although
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 there could be unexpected, harmful events occurring during work, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because older
people
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 should stay active to enhance their mental well-being and train their physique to become stronger.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction and support them with examples to boost clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly across paragraphs.
structure
Good introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your view on the topic.
support
You provided relevant examples to support your ideas, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • skills
  • benefit
  • employers
  • colleagues
  • active
  • healthy
  • physically
  • mentally
  • social
  • connections
  • relationships
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • financial
  • reasons
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