IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some experts believe that it is better to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's world, the ability to speak a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is so
much
Rephrase
apply
show examples
valuable that
people
Use synonyms
 start learning at the primary
school
Use synonyms
. Some experts in
this
Linking Words
 field believe that it is better when a person starts studying as soon as possible, as it is more advantageous than starting in secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight the differences between starting at the primary or secondary
school
Use synonyms
. The main advantage of begin learning o second
language
Use synonyms
 at the primary
school
Use synonyms
 is the hability of learning it really fast,
due to
Linking Words
 the brain being able to work at its full potential.
For instance
Linking Words
, children do not have so many things to worry about, which is why they are capable of learning faster than teenagers.
In addition
Linking Words
, the availability to study is greater than that of
people
Use synonyms
 at the secondary
school
Use synonyms
, who sometimes are already working or studying to get into college. Clearly, being able
to begin
Linking Words
 learning at the primary level has some advantages.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who begin learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 are more focused
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they are usually able to choose by themselves which
language
Use synonyms
 they would rather study.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 at the secondary level have at least an idea of their career goals, so starting to study a
language
Use synonyms
 that could help them is very important.
This
Linking Words
 advantage suggests that starting the learning process at the secondary do not mean the student is late.
This
Linking Words
 essay compares the advantages and disadvantages of begin learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at the primary
school
Use synonyms
, or a little bit later in secondary
school
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
due to
Linking Words
 the facts shown, I believe that as early as possible, a person starts to learn, and faster could be the learning process.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a more clear answer to the main question. Say early in the essay if the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Write more about the bad points of starting in primary school. Now, most of body 2 talks about good points of secondary school, not the bad side of primary school.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and more real. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar in topic sentences because some errors make the meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing, and the reader can follow your main line of thought.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both time periods: primary school and secondary school.
task response
You give examples to support your ideas, which is good for task response.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bilingualism
  • Linguistic development
  • Cognitive flexibility
  • Cultural competence
  • Neuroplasticity
  • Holistic education
  • Language acquisition
  • Language immersion
  • Proficiency
  • Primary education
  • Secondary education
  • Pedagogical approaches
  • Early language exposure
  • Academic enrichment
  • Multilingualism
  • Cross-cultural interactions
  • Fluency
  • Curriculum integration
  • Language pedagogy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: