It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving money for people’s future, especially for young is essential for them. I concur with
this
Linking Words
idea, as it helps them to have better education at prestigious universities, and they can afford their own residence by saving it.
Firstly
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, it is necessary for young people to control spending to get a proper education. By saving their fund, they can pay for university fees, since the high-level universities need a big budget for their fees to accept students.
As a result
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, they have more opportunities for better jobs in high-profile companies.
For example
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, a lot of Saudi students manage their funds wisely, so they can get into Harvard University and get a high degree, which helps them to be accepted in famous companies,
such
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as Google and Apple. Minimising costs is important to allow people to have their own home, which helps them to settle down and have a safer place. As house costs are increasing now and in the future, if people save their money, they can afford their own residence;
therefore
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, they will protect themselves and their families from any harm they might get.
For instance
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, many parents control their budget and save their salary, so they can own a safe house for themselves and their children. In conclusion, I believe everybody should be aware that saving their cash allows them to have a good education at high university;
consequently
Linking Words
, they will have chances to enter a great establishment.
Likewise
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, saving their money could help them to have their own home, which will give them a safer life for themselves and their families.

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language
Be careful with grammar and phrasing to make your meaning clear.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas so the text flows.
examples
Give more clear and real examples that fit the task.
task
Add more on how saving helps both education and living with clear points.
strength
You state your view clearly and stay with it.
structure
There is an intro, body and conclusion.
coherence
Ideas are in order with some examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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