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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think watching television is bad for children in every way other belive it is good for devolping children as they grow up discuss both views and give your own opinion

Television
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 has long been a part of
children
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's daily lives, and its impact on their development is widely debated.
While
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 some argue that
television
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 is entirely harmful to
children
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, others believe it can be a valuable educational and developmental tool.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand, critics of
television
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 argue that it exposes
children
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 to inappropriate content, encourages passive
behavior
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behaviour
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, and contributes to physical and mental health issues. Many TV shows are violent, overly
commercialized
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commercialised
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, or promote unrealistic lifestyles, which may negatively influence young viewers.
Furthermore
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, excessive screen time can reduce physical activity, increase the risk of obesity, and impair attention span.
For example
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,
children
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 who spend hours in front of a screen are less likely to engage in outdoor play or meaningful face-to-face interactions, which are crucial for social and cognitive development.
On the other hand
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, supporters argue that
television
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, when used wisely, can be an effective educational resource. Numerous programs are designed to teach language, science, history, and moral values in an engaging manner. Shows like Sesame Street have been credited with improving literacy and numeracy skills in preschoolers.
Moreover
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,
television
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 can introduce
children
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 to different cultures and perspectives, fostering empathy and curiosity about the world. In my opinion,
television
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 is not inherently harmful or beneficial—it depends entirely on how it is used. When
children
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 are guided by parents and exposed to age-appropriate, educational content in moderation,
television
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 can support learning and creativity.
However
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, unmonitored and excessive viewing can indeed have damaging effects. In conclusion,
while
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television
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 poses certain risks, it
also
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 holds educational potential. The key lies in supervision, content selection, and limiting screen time to ensure a healthy and balanced development for
children
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.

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Task Response
Add more exact facts or data to back up your points and give more than one example for each side.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking words to give a smoother flow and avoid repeating the same phrases.
Strength
Clear view and good structure that makes the essay easy to read.
Strength
Use of an example (Sesame Street) to back up a point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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