amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Society has changed a lot in recent years , especially for
children
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. Nowadays, there is a huge increase in the number of overweight
children
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. Schools must spend more
time
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on
sports
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and exercise .
This
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essay will explain do I think
this
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is the best way to deal with the problem and what other solutions I can suggest. Schools should increase the
time
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for
sports
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and exercise . I believe
this
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is the best way to deal with the issue of obesity.
First,
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since students spend most of their day at school, it is the best place to ensure they get enough exercise. Many
children
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return home tired and prefer to sit or use devices
instead
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of doing
sports
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. Second , doing
sports
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at school helps students practice teamwork and social skills.
Also
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, they can support each other.
Moreover
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, they will help others do
sports
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in the right way .
Finally
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, some schools
do
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hold
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Sports
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competitions.
As a result
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, students will be excited and active .
Also
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, it can improve their health , and they can lose weight. There are multiple solutions for overweight
children
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. First , healthy food may be the best choice .
This
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is because many studies show that food is vital in losing weight .
For example
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, foods that contain a high amount of fibre and protein can enhance the digestion process. Second , the government should raise people's awareness about
this
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problem.
Also
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, they should reduce their consumption of junk food .
In addition
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, it must set strong rules for the sale of fast foods and soft drinks .
Finally
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, parents should reduce the amount of
time
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spent on devices .
Children
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play online all day and lead a sedentary lifestyle. In conclusion , increasing the
time
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for
sports
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at school is essential to improve health and deal with overweight
children
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.
Moreover
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, there are
also
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several excellent solutions to deal with
this
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problem

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task achievement
Start with a clear view in the intro and restate it in the end. Make your main idea easy to see from the start.
task achievement
Add more facts or examples to back each point. For example, give a simple plan for school sports and a simple diet change.
coherence cohesion
Connect ideas with easy link words and make each paragraph have one main idea. Check the flow from one point to the next.
content
You give a clear view on the topic.
structure
There is a plan with two parts (sport and other ideas).
content
You note some good benefits of sport, like teamwork.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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