IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages.

A large amount of machinery is used to perform everyday tasks in households ,
such
Linking Words
 as a washing machine, dishwasher, vacuum and mopping. I think
this
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 revolution has a positive impact as it saves
time
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 rotates money in different countries.
To begin
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 with, most of the housework is easy nowadays because people are using different machinery to finish their home duties. The traditional hand method consumed a lot of hours to complete just one task,
such
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 as washing clothes. Not only that it require multiple people to perform , and was
time
Use synonyms
-consuming. When the community started using these machines, they had free
time
Use synonyms
, which they could divert to different important areas , like jobs.
For example
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, 80% of homemakers in India started working in corporate offices after the year 2015 because they are fully dependent on these technologies to perform their daily tasks.
Moreover
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, many firms start developing a manufacturing plant in certain locations to meet the demand , as many householders purchase
this
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 equipment.
As a result
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, it creates more job opportunities , and money flows increase in various nations.
This
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 is to say that after every purchase, the government receives a Tax fund
also
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 from the salary tax of an individual.
For Instance
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, China is making all types of equipment useful for the kitchen and at the same
time
Use synonyms
 hiring housewives for
this
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 production, eventually the money flows within a country.
To conclude
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, there are more advantages of using machines like dishwashers and washing equipment, which save a huge amount of
time
Use synonyms
 and improve the economy by making these products in the country and occupy household workers.

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task
Give a clear view that weighs both sides and state your own position clearly.
content
Add real and clear examples. Explain how machines save time and money for people and the country.
structure
Use a simple plan: start with a short intro, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow between ideas, like also, but, so, because.
grammar
Check grammar: subject-verb errors, plural forms, and the use of 'the' where needed.
content
The essay talks about a clear topic: machines in home tasks.
structure
It has a closing sentence that marks the end.
coherence
Some links are used to show extra ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Manual labor
  • Displacement
  • Homemaking skills
  • Technological advancements
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy efficiency
  • Social dynamics
  • Operational understanding
What to do next:
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