IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some students take a year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to work or to travel. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some
students
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 choose a
one
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-
year
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gap
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 before entering
university
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. They usually ‎use
this
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gap
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 to go on a trip or work. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why the ‎disadvantages of
one
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year
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 off are outweighed by the advantages. Boosting ‎energy and gaining more experience will be discussed as two primary benefits of ‎taking a
year
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 off after finishing
school
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.‎ In fact, it has been shown that studying could be
one
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 of the most difficult ‎duties. It needs much energy and focus to be successful.
One
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year
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 off after 12 ‎years of non-stop learning may be a good chance for
students
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 to recharge ‎themselves towards various activities.
For example
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, travelling is considered ‎
one
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 of these activities that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them recharge their battery for the next step in ‎
university
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. A longitudinal study on
students
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 who went on a long-haul trip ‎before entering
university
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 showed that they achieve better learning outcomes ‎than those who immediately started their course after finishing
school
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. ‎
However
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, some believe it is kind of wasting time, higher energy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a prepared ‎mindset to start the next step showed far better results in
students
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 who ‎preferred choosing a
one
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-
year
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gap
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 between
school
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 and
university
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. ‎
Furthermore
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, some
students
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 use
this
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 opportunity to gain experience about ‎what they want to choose as a future career.
For example
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, for
students
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 who tend to ‎choose
one
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year
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 off before enrolling in
university
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, some organisations in Iran ‎provide vacancies in different fields,
such
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 as health and science, engineering, ‎and teaching.
This
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 way, they assist
students
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 in choosing their majors at
university
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. A ‎survey in 2023 in Iran showed that a large number of these
students
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 (92%) ‎succeeded in finishing their course at
university
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,
while
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this
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 number for ‎
students
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 without using
this
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 opportunity was much lower. ‎ In conclusion, it has been proven that a
gap
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 between two major stages of life, ‎like between finishing
school
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 and starting a course at
university
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, might bring ‎many benefits.
According to
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 evidence-based results, I strongly believe that ‎better learning outcomes
due to
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 higher energy and practical experiences are ‎two main advantages that outweigh the drawbacks.‎

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task response
Be clear in the intro. State your view right away.
task response
Give more balance. briefly note downsides and then show why benefits are bigger.
coherence
Use simple links to move ideas. Use words like and, but, also, for example.
structure
Make main ideas in each paragraph and start with a small topic sentence.
grammar vocabulary
Keep noun groups short and use common words.
grammar
Check grammar: keep tense, form of verbs, and prepositions right.
structure
The essay has a clear topic and view.
content
It uses data from study and a real example.
structure
It ends with a conclusion that restates the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Real-world experience
  • Personal growth
  • Enhanced employability
  • Academic pressures
  • Maturity
  • Academic momentum
  • Financial implications
  • Out of sync
  • Lack of structure
What to do next:
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