IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowl- edge or experience.

Devastating as it currently is, well-being risks related to smoking are still being ignored by a large number of individuals. From my perspective, the awareness of
such
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 matters should be raised much higher—regarding the detriments accompanying
this
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 habit—through a variety of measures: social media promotion, curriculum-integrated courses, and economic policy. First and foremost, the global concern regarding smoking stems from the immense burden it places on public
health
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 and the economy.
Tobacco
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 use is a leading cause of preventable death, linked to chronic conditions
such
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 as lung cancer, heart disease, and respiratory failure. Beyond the individual, the societal cost is staggering; governments must allocate billions in tax revenue to treat smoking-related illnesses, which depletes resources from other essential sectors like education or infrastructure.
Furthermore
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, the issue of secondhand smoke means that smoking is not merely a personal choice but a public
health
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 hazard that affects the well-being of non-smokers, particularly children and service workers. To address
this
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, a multi-faceted approach is required. One highly effective solution is the integration of anti-smoking education into school curricula. By teaching children the biological mechanisms of nicotine addiction and the long-term physical consequences of
tobacco
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 from an early age, we can prevent the habit before it starts.
Additionally
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, social media promotion should be leveraged to "
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" smoking.
While
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 traditional advertising may feel outdated to younger generations, targeted digital campaigns featuring testimonials from former smokers or
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 influencers can create a more relatable and powerful deterrent.
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, governments should continue to increase excise taxes on
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 products, as higher price points are statistically proven to encourage cessation among low-income groups and youth. In conclusion, the persistence of smoking despite known risks is a critical issue that threatens both individual lives and national economies.
However
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, through a combination of early education, modern digital advocacy, and financial deterrents, it is possible to significantly reduce smoking rates. It is imperative that society treats
tobacco
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 use not as an inevitable habit, but as a manageable
health
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 crisis that requires urgent collective action.

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content
Explain more how each idea helps stop smoking and show how it can work in real life.
structure
Add a short, clear intro that says why this topic is a big worry and what you will say.
language
Use more everyday words and shorter sentences to be easy to read.
content
Give at least one real life example or small fact to back up points.
coherence
Keep each paragraph to one main idea with a clear link to the next.
task response
Clear view that smoking is a big health and money problem.
structure
Saw several good ideas to help stop smoking, like education, social media, and tax.
coherence
The essay follows a logical order from problem to solution and back to result.
structure
Conclusion restates the idea well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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