Today, children spend a lot of time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give examples and reasons to support your idea.

In recent years, Many

children

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spend a large amount of

time

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watching

television

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This

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essay will discuss both views and present my opinion. On the one hand.Many teenagers waste their

time

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by watching

television

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or playing in computer.

This

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is because their parents do not have the responsibility to manage and control their lives.

Also

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, watching

television

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makes

children

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feel happy and excited,which is better than spending their

time

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on something beneficial.

However

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this

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can lead to a lazy and unproductive generation.

Such

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as,if they do not focus on studying or spend their

time

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doing something that helps the community ,it may cause massive problems when they grow up.

On the other hand

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,watching

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

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can be productive for those who can use

this

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by beneficail method.

In addition

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,parents can help their

children

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by create timetable for efficient videos.

For example

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,watching science videos, studying for their schools,and search about new skill

then

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learning how to do it.

Although

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Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

the government can establish learning programmes in the televison to helps chileldren learning new habits.

As a result

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, watching TV is essential for

children

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to enhance their skills and improve their knowledge.

While

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many

children

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are trying to spend their

time

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doing other things ,companies are

also

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trying to attract these

children

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.Because of copmanies can get a large amount of money by advertising on TV, it opens a new gate for employing people in new jobs.

However

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,the environment of companies can be beneficial if they show something that helps

children

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on TV .

Therefore

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,both of them can have something to spend

time

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on . In conclusion, both views play an essential role in society.I believe that if parents can control and manage their

children

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time

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can help them to learn new habits.

abodrrr67

Mar 15, 2026

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task response

Answer the main question more clearly. You need to say if the good points are more than the bad points, and keep this idea clear in all parts.

task response

Use ideas that fit the topic only. The part about companies and jobs is not very close to the main question about children watching TV.

task response

Give stronger examples. Your science video example is good, but you need more clear and real support for each main point.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences more clear. Start each body part with one main idea, then explain it.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some words like however, also, although, and because are not used well, so the meaning becomes unclear.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one idea in one paragraph. The third paragraph adds a new idea that breaks the flow of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

You have an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay has a full shape.

task response

You try to show both good and bad sides of watching TV.

task response

You include examples like science videos and learning new skills, which helps support your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
educational value
documentary programs
diverse cultures
innovation
sedentary behavior
obesity
social skills
inappropriate content
academic performance
behavioral issues
inspire imagination
structured activities
negative impact
learning benefits
violent content
exposure

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?