Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popular in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest

#gyms #lifestyle #world

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this

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modern world, people view their personal

health

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as one of their top priorities in

life

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Thus

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, gyms became more accessible to cope with increasing needs.

However

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, there are still many men and women in society chasing a seated lifestyle.

This

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causes the public to suffer from a potential

health

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crisis in the future. It could be suggested that raising public awareness can help the situation. One of the problems is humans nowadays are more stressed out with

life

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, which hinders them from staying healthy.

For example

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, many citizens of Singapore choose to enjoy a sumptuous meal after a long day at work and there are a variety of things in

life

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that aid the battle against mental tension. Unfortunately,

such

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activities take up time, and often enough, exercising on a regular basis is not feasible.

This

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leads to

life

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-threatening illnesses

such

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as obesity and hypertension in later stages of

life

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Therefore

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it is clear that

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without sufficient time for physical activity, one will face a potential

health

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crisis sooner or later. A possible solution to the above issue could be fixed with campaigns planned out by the government.

For instance

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, the

Health

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Promotion Board(HPB) of Singapore encourages everyone to work out for at least 150 minutes a week.

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, on weekends, the HPB collaborates with community centres all over the country to bring residents together for fitness-enhancing sessions. These incentives improve the body performance of participants during their free time.

Thus

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, with support from an authority,

health

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-related risks can be minimised. In conclusion, it is obvious how a laid-back approach to

life

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is not beneficial to anyone. Luckily, there are experts out there who provide help to make changes. After analysing the opinions, it is evident that staying healthy is important and people should try their best to push themselves for the better.

Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on Sun Jan 28 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. The essay mentions problems and solutions, but these could be expanded upon with more in-depth analysis and a wider range of examples.

task achievement

Work on developing ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details. Aim to explore each point more fully before moving on to the next.

task achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate arguments. The essay provides some examples but could benefit from additional ones that are more detailed and varied to support the points made.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This includes conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay. The introduction should clearly state the problem and your stance on solutions, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points without introducing new information.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
contemporary world
physical inactivity
chronic diseases
mental wellbeing
healthcare expenditure
active transport
workplace wellness
community engagement
public infrastructure
preventative measures
holistic health
exercise regimen
nutritional awareness
government initiatives
public health campaigns
screen time
lifestyle modification
social connectedness
educational programs

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Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popular in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest

Your opinion

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Studies show that many people in the prison have low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree?

computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree