IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

Dear Raman, I hope
this
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 letter finds you well. I am writing to ask you if you could help me
in designing
Change preposition
design
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 a website for my business. I recently opened a salon store called 'The Beauty' on the first floor of Bramlea City Centre in Brampton. My shop not only provides services for men but
also
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 for women and children. I would provide a 50% discount for the first three months.
Moreover
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, I would prefer to mention various services on the website,
such
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 as nail extensions, facials, and haircuts for people of all ages.
In addition
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 , for the customers' convenience, the opening hours and location of the store should be mentioned.
Additionally
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, providing some images with descriptions would be useful since they can help people to find out information regarding the service more easily. Images should clearly highlight the discount available. If you require any
further
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 assistance, let me know. Looking forward to your positive response. Lovingly, Rupinder Kaur

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task response
Say more about what pages you want on the site, like home page, price list, and booking page.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer link between ideas. For example, use 'Also' or 'As well as this' in a simple way.
task response
The line about the 50% discount is not fully clear. Say if this is for all services and if you want it on the home page.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each part very clear: business, website needs, then image ideas.
task response
You answer all three parts of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start and end, and it is easy to follow.
task response
You give useful details about the business and services.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs have one main idea, so the letter is well set out.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • website design
  • user-friendly
  • navigate
  • aesthetic
  • branding
  • content management system (CMS)
  • responsive design
  • high-quality images
  • graphic elements
  • visual appeal
  • e-commerce
  • product portfolio
  • search engine optimization (SEO)
  • interactive features
  • testimonials
  • call-to-action buttons
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