IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many more people travel nowadays than in the past.What impact does this increase in tourism have on the countries that they visit?

Currently, there is a remarkable increase in the number of individuals evaluating international
tourism
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 and its consequences on various aspects of society. Some argue that the
tourism
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 industry has greatly improved the economy,
while
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 critics believe that it can lead to long-term environmental damage and inconveniences for local communities. From my personal standpoint, the
tourism
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 industry brings a wide range of opportunities for local people. On the one hand, there is a strong argument that the travel and
tourism
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 sector drives economic growth, particularly in areas like trade and services related to
tourism
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.
For instance
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, many countries,
such
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 as France and Italy, rely heavily on tourists as an essential part of their economy.
Consequently
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, these countries invest significant portions of their budgets in tourist attractions and facilities. Evidently, these
tourism
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 destinations create numerous opportunities and foster local trade.
On the other hand
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, it is widely believed that mass
tourism
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 can negatively impact the environment and cultural heritage.
This
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 can be illustrated by the case of Maya Bay in Thailand, which was closed for several months in 2008 because heavy tourist activities,
such
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 as
snorkeling
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snorkelling
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 and boat trips, damaged the coral reefs.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 entertainment activities should be carefully regulated by governments to prevent environmental degradation. In conclusion, the benefits of
tourism
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 outweigh its drawbacks.
However
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, it is crucial to be aware of the environmental and cultural consequences, which should be carefully managed and planned.

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task response
Answer the full question more directly. Say more about what tourism does to the countries people visit.
task response
Add one more clear bad impact on local people, not only nature.
task response
Explain your main idea a little more in each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences so each paragraph has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence of each body paragraph clearly connect to the main question.
task response
You give both good and bad sides of tourism.
task response
You use a real example about Thailand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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