IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many people have adopted a minimalist lifestyle, choosing to own only essential possessions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this way of livi

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are arguing about lifestyles. Some
people
Use synonyms
 said that they are more into cluttercore
style
Use synonyms
-
Check wording
apply
show examples
style
Use synonyms
, which is about chaos in a
room
Use synonyms
, others into a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
, some into a chill
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 and others into a minimalistic
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. In my
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will present the advantages and disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 -
minimalism
Use synonyms
. I will say what I think about it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I want to say that
minimalism
Use synonyms
 is a very special
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
There’s
Correct subject-verb agreement
There are
show examples
 a lot of good
things
Use synonyms
 about
this
Linking Words
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. It improves
people
Use synonyms
 simply in
life
Use synonyms
, encourages using the
things
Use synonyms
 and items in
life
Use synonyms
 that are very special for
people
Use synonyms
 and order in
life
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can forget about a mess in their home, office or
room
Use synonyms
.
Minimalism
Use synonyms
,
like
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 I said, is using that thing in your daily routine,
for
Linking Words
Use synonyms
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 it could be a memory from a long journey with friends - memories, photos, attributions or something like
this
Linking Words
. But,
secondly
Linking Words
, there’s the other medal half.
Minimalism
Use synonyms
 is not good for everyone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 hate it. Why? Because
minimalism
Use synonyms
 is about
simply
Replace the word
simplicity
, about order. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is very boring and doesn't show your real
life
Use synonyms
 side,
for
Linking Words
Use synonyms
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 emotions, your character, it’s just a tidy
room
Use synonyms
 with some necessary
things
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 like to save their old items, clothes and feel good in their comfort zone - home or
room
Use synonyms
.
Third,
Linking Words
I want to say that
this
Linking Words
 situation
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
cluttercore
Punctuation problem
cluttercore,
show examples
 is not very good for nature.
People
Use synonyms
 have to know more about ecology and know that hoarding
things
Use synonyms
 is a bad thing.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, these
things
Use synonyms
 could be donated to the
people
Use synonyms
 or kids, who certainly need
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them,
show examples
 and not useful items could be sorted and recycled.
Finally
Linking Words
, I want to say that I like
minimalistic
Correct article usage
the minimalistic
show examples
style
Use synonyms
. I think that
this
Linking Words
style
Use synonyms
 saves nature, encourages you
to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
 make a mess in your
room
Use synonyms
 and encourages you to stay
simply
Replace the word
simple
 in
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Write one full part on good points and one full part on bad points.
task response
Give more direct ideas. Some lines are not clear, so the reader must guess your meaning.
task response
Use examples that are more real and exact. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. Do not mix your view, nature, and lifestyle points too much.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words like First, Second, On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make the order of ideas smoother. Some sentences jump from one idea to another too fast.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both good and bad sides of minimalism.
task response
You give your own view in the end, which helps complete the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your writing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: