IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own decisions is likely to result in a society of individualism. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss.

Its
Correct pronoun usage
It's
show examples
 widely argued that making
decisions
Use synonyms
 is one of the most crucial matters in life. A group of
people
Use synonyms
 believe
that is
Linking Words
 let adolscence making imprtant choices leads to singularity,
whereas
Linking Words
 other groub think that idea
useful
Verb problem
is useful
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 to children.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
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 upcoming lines will discuss both sides.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 youngsters
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
decisions
Use synonyms
 can be
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
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 way to build
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 personality.
In other words
Linking Words
, independence in their lives is a positive result, which improves their career's
future
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them more confident to
decide
Verb problem
make
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 the harder choices in life.
For example
Linking Words
, there is
study
Correct article usage
a study
show examples
shows
Correct pronoun usage
that shows
show examples
 the children who
mike
Correct your spelling
make
 small
decisions
Use synonyms
 in life,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
deciding what they eat in their meals. Can make strong and assertive traits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
sucess in personal's
Correct word order
success in personal
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 and
proficional's
Correct your spelling
professional
 fields.
In addition
Linking Words
, letting young
people
Use synonyms
 decide what they want
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 offers more freedom.
For instance
Linking Words
, when freedom avilable happiness and creativity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the best results
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, letting kids
choice want
Replace the word
choose what
 they love
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and
offer option to them
Correct word order
offering them options
show examples
 can be
unuseful
Correct word choice
useless
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 to them. As an illustration,
imiating
Correct your spelling
imitating
 the bad
people
Use synonyms
 in commuity it can damages conduct's
youngster
Use the right word
conduct
show examples
 and a
numerous
Check wording
number
show examples
 of them
waching
Correct your spelling
watch
 and
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 the
harnful
Correct your spelling
harmful
 content
in the
Change preposition
on
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 social media.
Additionally
Linking Words
. The Career's
future
Use synonyms
 will be affected as a negative outcome. Another drawback
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the adolscence will be more
hasitated
Replace the word
hesitant
 and
also
Linking Words
 feel
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
confident
Replace the word
confidence,
as well as
Linking Words
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel that they are
show examples
 not good enough to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
decisions
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 leads to letting other
people
Use synonyms
 decide
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 not effective
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
To sum up
Linking Words
, let children
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
decisions
Use synonyms
have
Change preposition
with
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 negative and positive
outcome
Check wording
outcomes
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the former can damage their personality and
also
Linking Words
 their
future
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the latter
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 them freedom, which can be useful to their
future
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why each side is right or wrong in a full way.
task response
Give your own view in the end in a clear sentence.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it.
task response
Add real and clear examples. Your example now is hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a simple order: intro, side one, side two, end.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy link words well, like first, also, however, for example, in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence connect to the next one. Some parts now jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check word form and grammar, because many errors make your ideas hard to follow.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to give examples and reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraph breaks.
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