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Writing Samples
Band 7

(2024) Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The growth of
tourism
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 has become a significant trend in recent years, with many individuals from various countries opting to explore different destinations. It is widely acknowledged that
tourism
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 plays a substantial role in boosting a nation's
economy
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, as it is one of the fastest-growing industries globally.
Nevertheless
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, some people argue that
tourism
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 has a detrimental impact on the environment. I partially agree with
this
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 statement and will elaborate on my views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
tourists
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 often incur significant expenses when visiting other countries. They have to purchase expensive air tickets,
as well as
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 pay for accommodations and hotel stays.
Furthermore
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, they must allocate funds for transportation,
such
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 as hiring cars or taxis, to visit historical and tourist sites.
Additionally
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,
tourists
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 often purchase traditional clothing or souvenirs, which contributes to the local
economy
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.
Consequently
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,
tourists
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' expenditures have a direct and indirect impact on boosting the
economy
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 of the visited nation.
On the other hand
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,
tourism
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 can have adverse effects on the environment. When
tourists
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 visit historical sites, they often disregard local rules and regulations, resulting in litter and pollution. The increased demand for transportation,
such
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 as hiring taxis and cars,
also
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 contributes to the depletion of natural resources and pollution.
Moreover
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, some
tourists
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 engage in vandalism,
such
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 as writing on walls, which can damage the historical significance and aesthetic appeal of these sites. These negative impacts cannot be overlooked, and it is essential for governments to implement measures to mitigate them. In conclusion,
while
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tourism
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 can have numerous benefits for a nation's
economy
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, it
also
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 has significant negative effects on the environment that must be addressed. In my opinion, it would be beneficial for
tourists
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 to
familiarize
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familiarise
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 themselves with local rules and regulations prior to visiting a destination.
This
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 can be achieved by researching the place's guidelines on the internet, which would not only benefit the local community but
also
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 the
tourists
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 themselves.

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task response
Answer the full question more directly. The task asks about harm to local culture and the environment, but you only talk about the environment. Add ideas about local culture too.
task response
Make your opinion more clear all through the essay. You say you partly agree, but most of the essay does not clearly show how much you agree.
task response
Use more specific examples. For example, name ways tourism can change local culture, like loss of local customs or too many shops for tourists.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph matches the question well, but the first body paragraph mainly explains economic benefit. You should link it more clearly to your opinion about the damage being ignored.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are good, like 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Try to make the flow between ideas smoother inside each paragraph too.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic and give your opinion in the first paragraph.
task response
You explain the economic side of tourism in a clear and easy way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into paragraphs with a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas connect in a logical order, so the essay is easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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