In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country while other believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A few individuals earn considerably high wages in some states.
People
in group one think that
this
situation is beneficial for
countries
while
group two of
people
support the
idea
that authorities should control wages and
strict
Correct your spelling
restrict
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the number of
people
`s earnings. In my opinion, the
idea
of the
people
in group one is accurate. Because
high
Change preposition
of high
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
individuals` taxes will be relatively high and the government will have a chance to benefit from high taxes. In
this
essay, it will be discussed both ideas and
also
I will declare my own opinion.
Firstly
, the
idea
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
countries
benefit from
people
who earn much is correct. The reason behind
this
statement is about economics mostly. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the more individuals earn high
salaries
, the more they will pay taxes. The tax rates will get higher when a person starts to earn more salary.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
reason,
countries
get advantages from
people
who earn high
salaries
.
Secondly
, it is not logical to control
salaries
and present a limitation. Actually, it doesn`t even make a lawful statement. Because in liberal
countries
, the Authority cannot have an impact on the industry.
On the other hand
, conducting a limitation may cause more problematic results
such
as getting into civil chaos in the country.
This
is why it`s not a smart
idea
at all. In my perspective, the governments cannot have any power to limit individual`s wages. Actually, they shouldn`t do it because of
countries`
Correct article usage
the countries`
show examples
for
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apply
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own good.
High paid
Add a hyphen
High-paid
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workers will build an economically strong country.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
will be able to serve other
lower paid
Add a hyphen
lower-paid
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workers thanks to
high paid
Add a hyphen
high-paid
show examples
employees. In conclusion, the
idea
that authorities should control
people
`s
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
is not
a
Change the article
apply
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supportable for
countries
` future
while
people
who
gets
Change the verb form
get
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paid high
salaries
will have an incredibly big
effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
effect
show examples
on
countries
Replace the word
the country's
show examples
economy.
Submitted by fyzalkac on

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Support
Ensure to provide specific examples to support your points. While you've discussed the reasons behind your views effectively, including more detailed examples would strengthen your arguments further.
Grammar
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical constructs. This would add to the complexity and readability of your essay.
Clarity
Work on refining your argument's clarity, especially when discussing complex economic concepts. Simplifying these ideas without losing depth could make your essay more accessible to readers.
Structure
You clearly introduced and concluded your essay, effectively framing your arguments.
Flow
Your essay maintains a logical flow, moving smoothly from one idea to the next which aids in understanding.
Task Response
You effectively address the essay prompt, presenting a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
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  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
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  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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