IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Public transportation is a major requirement for metropolises. It is,
however
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, discussed whether government investment and reducing costs are efficient ways to fight against transport pollution. I personally agree that enabling practical public transportation at lower prices for citizens significantly helps with it. In
this
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 essay, I will support my statement.
Firstly
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, new metro lines and bus stops require construction, which mostly takes a large period of time.
Furthermore
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, because of
this
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, many ways and streets are temporarily closed.
As a result
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, traffic increases significantly on a variety of busy roads and highways.
For instance
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, in Barcelona, to arrive at the beach zone, there are common routes not functioning nowadays, which cause traffic congestion
due to
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 maintenance in metro line.
On the other hand
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, lower costs and a large number of subways and coaches encourage people not to drive. To illustrate, tourists and residents in London show a tendency to travel by underground since the London Metro System is one of the most remarkable and enormous examples of all. Another factor is that car parking in London is quite an adverse and pricey issue.
Hence
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, the proportion of private vehicles in traffic is limited in
this
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 capital. It is
also
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 an advantage that passengers find more flexible, comfortable, and less time-consuming trips.
To sum up
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, investment in public transport systems and affordable ticket prices are outstanding assets to lessen pollution on city roads. Authorities must plan and schedule renovations and expansions carefully by taking into account peak hours, community routines, and individuals' economic conditions.

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task response
Make your main answer more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you agree, and why.
task response
Add one more clear reason about how lower prices cut pollution. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Your first body paragraph partly goes away from the main point. Link road work more clearly to the question about pollution.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few ideas feel sudden. Add short links between traffic, cost, and pollution.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one clear example and one clear result.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it through the essay.
task response
You use real city examples like Barcelona and London.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like firstly, on the other hand, as a result, and to sum up.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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