Many students finish high school and wish to continue their studies overseas. Give the advantage of studying abroad and give the advantages of staying home to study.

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Many
students
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finish high school and want to choose where to study. Some
students
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want to travel,
while
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others prefer to stay in their
home
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country.
This
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essay will examine the advantages of studying abroad and the advantages of staying
home
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to study. On the one hand, studying abroad has three great advantages for
students
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.
First,
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students
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will learn a new language very
fast
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
.
For
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example
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, they will speak English every day with people.
Also
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, they will take easy language classes at the university.
Second,
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students
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can see a new country and have fun. An
example
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of
this
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is trying new food.
In addition
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, they can visit nice places during the holidays.
Finally
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, it helps to live alone and become strong.
For
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example
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, they must learn how to cook their food.
Moreover
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, they will learn to be financially responsible.
On the other hand
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, staying
home
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to study
also
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has three important benefits.
First,
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it saves a lot of money for you.
For
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example
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, you do not need to buy expensive plane tickets.
Also
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, you do not pay money for a house.
Second,
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you can live with your family and feel happy. An
example
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is eating nice meals with your parents every day.
In addition
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, you can see your old friends on the weekend.
Finally
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, studying in your country is very safe and easy.
For
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example
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, you already know the rules of your city.
Moreover
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, you can find a good job easily after you finish. In conclusion, studying abroad and staying
home
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both have good points for
students
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.
Finally
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, every student should choose the best way for their future.

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task response
Overall score: 6. Your answer is on topic and complete, but some ideas need more detail. For example, explain why learning a new language can help a student in work or daily life.
task response
Some points are too simple or not always true. For example, “they will take easy language classes” may not be true for all schools. Use safer ideas, such as “they may take language classes”.
task response
Add a clearer final view. You can say which choice may be best for different students, such as students with enough money or students who want to stay close to family.
coherence and cohesion
The plan is clear, but you use the same pattern many times: “First... Also... Second... An example...” Try to join ideas in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Use words that show the link between the point and the example. For example: “This can help because...”, “As a result...”, or “This means that...”.
coherence and cohesion
Your last main point says studying at home is “safe and easy”, but the example about finding a job does not clearly show this. Make the point and example match more closely.
task response
You answer both parts of the question. You give good points for studying abroad and for studying at home.
task response
Your ideas are clear. You use examples, such as learning English, saving money, and living with family.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, and “In addition”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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