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Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#parents #teachers #support
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Scrolling my computer mouse and surfing the internet, several kinds of advertisement are
pop
Suggestion
popping
 up
into
Suggestion
in
 my screen and it’s not difficult for me to recognize that medicine and organic foods for losing weight purpose are widely advertised on the internet nowadays, especially on
face book
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Facebook
facebook
. In
others
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 word, being overweight is the matter of great concern in recent time, especially on children. There are various reasons which cause obesity
on
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in
for
 children and many measures can be suggested to mitigate
such
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 problem. The most obvious reason which makes children being overweight is the development of unhealthy foods.
The young
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The youngest
 is well-known as hard to feed and
this
Linking Words
 is always a big issue
to
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with
 their parents.
However
Linking Words
, kids are usually attracted and addicted to fast foods and junk foods which are widely recommended in recent time.
Such
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 unhealthy foods are usually presented with colourful images as well as have catchy taste
to
being one more than one
two
 children.
Therefore
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, of course, parents obviously cannot deny buying them
such
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 kinds of foods which not only is convenient to their cooking but
also
Linking Words
 be able to comfort their children’s taste. The lacking information
of
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on
 a healthy diet in parents
may
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may also contribute
also
Linking Words
 contributes to the overweight situation in their children. Actually, only a small number of parents are aware of which kinds of food are adequate for their health as well as their baby. Commonly, they provide their child dishes which contain as many calories as
possible
Accept comma addition
possible, such
such
Linking Words
 as milk, butter and fat meat in order that their children have enough energy for a whole day long.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they don’t even think that adapting too much
such
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 thing will cause obesity
at
Suggestion
in
 kids. Obesity is a common sense to many children nowadays,
however
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,
this
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 issue can be tackled by following a healthy diet. The adult should recognize which are healthy foods before providing them to their children. Recently, it’s simple for them to determine which ones are nutritional dishes by learning from different sources
such
Linking Words
 as internet, magazine or even nutritional extents.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents should provide their kids more fruits and vegetables
in
Suggestion
on
 a daily basis in order to supplement them various kinds of in-needed vitamin. In short, a smart nutritional diet is a good measure to avoid many diseases as well as overweight in children.
Submitted by ngobaochau1911 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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