IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that government should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #money #railways #investment #roads
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In today's era of the modern world,we have different modes of transportation.Each mode has some unique features which make it an efficient way of transportation that
people
Use synonyms
 can use to travel from one place to another.Few individuals believe that the government should use funds on railways
while
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 others argue that more investment should be made in new
roads
Use synonyms
.The following essay will elucidate both perspectives
along with
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 my own viewpoint. On the one hand,there are numerous reasons why individuals are asking the state organisations to spend money on train services.
Firstly
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,electric modern trains do not emit carbon dioxide eventually it will help to reduce air pollution.
For example
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,many countries,like Singapore have metro services which
people
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 can use for daily commutes to workplaces which has helped to reduce CO2 emissions.
Secondly
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,it has the capacity to carry a significant number of passengers in one round for long
as well as
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 short duration of journeys.
Finally
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,trains are blessings on long routes because they come with facilities like comfortable seating arrangements,bedding setups ,food services and toilets.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 think that the organisations should spend more investments on
roads
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 because of the following reasons.The key factor is to limit the number of road accidents because of the poor infrastructure.
For instance
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,in India,in the year 2023 ,many road accidents happened because of the worse condition of
roads
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.
Additionally
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,
roads
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 need to be in a good state as it is considered an effective way of travel especially in hilly areas where building train routes is quite impossible.
Furthermore
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,new
roads
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 need to be constructed to provide connectivity to rural areas. In a nutshell, both modes of transportation seem to be vital for
people
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 .Each mode has its own significance.
Thus
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,in my view,the government should focus on trains
as well as
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roads
Use synonyms
 equally.
Submitted by pskhandelwal13 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects back to the main argument or topic sentence to strengthen the overall coherence, and include transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
Try to provide more balanced arguments and address the counterarguments more thoroughly. This will demonstrate a deeper analysis and understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This will improve the relevance and impact of the points you make.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion and present your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay adequately covers both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
task achievement
Good use of examples like Singapore's metro service helps to support and clarify your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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