Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment

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Many commentators believe that it is beneficial to spend public money on preventing illness, rather than spend it on the cure for those who are already suffering from diseases. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint, as I consider treating

patient

Suggestion

a patient

the patient

is more essential and should be given higher priority. On the one hand, the promotion of a healthy lifestyle to deter illness is undoubtedly a worthy aim of any government. The number of people who lead sedentary lifestyles is on the increase, which

consequently

Linking Words

makes them confront with diabetes or heart disease.

In addition

Linking Words

dependence

Suggestion

depending

on the car accelerates the possibility of health problems due to the inactivity.

Thus

Linking Words

, the authorities should launch promotion campaigns encouraging their citizens to walk or cycle

instead

Linking Words

of driving cars to get regular exercise.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I would argue that public expenditure should be allocated

first

Linking Words

for the treatment of people who are ill.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is untrue that all illnesses are the result of their lifestyle choices. To demonstrate, in developing countries, the rising level of pollution and low quality of sanitary system is probably the culprit of unhealthy living conditions.

Secondly

Linking Words

, financial resource is essential for not only cure of those who are seriously

ill but

Accept comma addition

ill, but

also

Linking Words

to conduct vital research into new treatments.

For instance

Linking Words

, failure to subsidise medicines or to invest in hospitals would certainly provoke many deaths which could have been avoided by timely treatment. In conclusion, while promoting a healthy life is important, treatment should have priority in health care spending.

Submitted by ntduong.ftu on Sun Jun 02 2019

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
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take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
healthy lifestyle
prevent
illness
treatment
public money
government expenditure
reduce
burden
healthcare system
preventive measures
improve
well-being
invest
long-term benefits
society
necessary care
balance
address
effectively

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Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.