Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often thought that
teachers
have a greater influence
in
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on
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both intellectual and social aspects of
children
's development as soon as they start
school
. I completely agree with
this
view because
teachers
not only teach them how to sharpen their intellect but
also
how to build better relationships with one another. The first reason why
teachers
have a bigger influence intellectually on pupils is that
,
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they spend a good number of hours together to teach them how to reason mathematically. Their tutors usually engage them in tasks and activities which help them to stimulate their mental process and develop their
idea generation
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idea-generation
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abilities,
this
then
eventually sharpens their intellect.
Eventhough
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Even
,
some
Correct word choice
though some
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others may think that the time spent on
school
is limited and may not help them to develop intellectually:
this
is often not the case because they mostly use
this
time meaningfully to solve various class works.
For example
, it has been proved by various scholars in studies done across the world that
children
who attend schools are more intelligent than those who do not. Another reason why I agree that
teachers
play more roles is that
,
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schools usually have a break period where
children
are allowed to play freely with each other.
This
manner of interaction helps them to develop better in the social aspect. Moreso, when they do
this
under the supervision of their
teachers
, they develop better team spirit which helps them in future.
However
, some could argue that
,
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this
is better done by their parents at home, but the skills that the
teachers
have in doing
this
is a bigger advantage.
For instance
, an online journal I read concluded that
teachers
are more effective in building social relationships among pupils than their parents. In summary,
school
children
benefit more from their
teachers
, who teach them how to develop mentally and socially, when they spend time together in
school
. I,
therefore
, agree that they are the most influential in these two regards.
Submitted by fbjatom50 on

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Grammar and Accuracy
Although the essay is well structured and the ideas are clearly explained, be mindful of minor grammatical errors (for example: 'teachers play more roles' instead of 'teachers play a bigger role' or 'they mostly use this time meaningfully to solve various class works' should be 'they mostly use this time meaningfully to complete various classwork assignments') and slight issues with sentence structure (for example: 'Eventhough, some others may think' is better written as 'even though some may think').
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide accurate, concrete examples when making a point. Using more specific data and statistics could make your arguments much stronger. For instance, instead of saying 'It has been proved by various scholars...' you could say 'A study conducted by Harvard University proved...'.
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