Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #competition #work #school #life

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While

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some people believe that competing helps individuals stay motivated and strive harder, others think that

cooperation

Use synonyms

should be prioritized as it can enhance effectiveness and create a congenial environment for work and study. Personally, since

both

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perspectives have their own advantages and disadvantages, I believe it is optimal to foster

both

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a competitive and cooperative atmosphere. On the one hand, it is understandable why some advocate for competition. Most obviously, when competing, individuals do not want to be left behind and want to stand out.

Therefore

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, they are consistently motivated and driven to continue striving.

This

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, in turn, enhances performance and yields more significant results in academic and professional settings. Football exemplifies

this

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perfectly: if a player underperforms a few times, he will not get additional chances to play.

Consequently

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, all players train diligently to ensure they are good enough to participate.

On the other hand

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, there are valid reasons why some value

cooperation

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more. Primarily, teamwork significantly improves effectiveness. Specifically, working in groups reduces the time needed to complete assignments or projects that would take much longer if done alone.

Furthermore

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, since everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, team members can compensate for each other's shortcomings, thereby improving the quality of the work. The importance of collaboration is evident in Apple’s workplace, where areas are designed to facilitate employee

cooperation

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As a result

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, bonds between colleagues are strengthened, leading to better outcomes for the company. In conclusion,

both

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competition and

cooperation

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offer benefits.

However

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, I believe that incorporating

both

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in our lives is ideal, as it helps maintain motivation

while

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enhancing

overall

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effectiveness.

Submitted by nphlpro on Tue Jun 25 2024

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introduction inadequate

Try to make your introduction more engaging by starting with a hook or an interesting assertion. This will capture the reader’s attention right from the start.

connect ideas inadequately

Although the essay is well-structured, make sure to connect the discussion of each view with cohesive devices to enhance the flow. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'However,' can create smoother transitions.

insufficient examples

To improve clarity and depth, consider incorporating more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen your arguments.

conclusion needs stronger closure

Make sure your conclusion not only summarizes the key points but also adds a final thought or opinion that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

understanding of prompt

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of both views.

logical structure

The essay exhibits a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

effective use of examples

You have effectively used relevant examples, such as referencing football and Apple's workplace, to support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A larger amount of advertisements nowadays are now targeted at children. Many people say this has negative effects on children and should there be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others disagree and say that it is helping reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Professional sports people are often idolised by young children. Some people think that they therefore have a responsibility to be good role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.What are your opinions?

Diet, not exercise, is the most important element in maintaining one’s health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use details and reasons to support your point of view.