Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often thought that

teachers

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have a greater influence

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both intellectual and social aspects of

children

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's development as soon as they start

school

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. I completely agree with

this

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view because

teachers

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not only teach them how to sharpen their intellect but

also

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how to build better relationships with one another. The first reason why

teachers

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have a bigger influence intellectually on pupils is that

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they spend a good number of hours together to teach them how to reason mathematically. Their tutors usually engage them in tasks and activities which help them to stimulate their mental process and develop their

idea generation

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idea-generation

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abilities,

this

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then

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eventually sharpens their intellect.

Eventhough

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Even

some

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though some

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others may think that the time spent on

school

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is limited and may not help them to develop intellectually:

this

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is often not the case because they mostly use

this

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time meaningfully to solve various class works.

For example

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, it has been proved by various scholars in studies done across the world that

children

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who attend schools are more intelligent than those who do not. Another reason why I agree that

teachers

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play more roles is that

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apply

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schools usually have a break period where

children

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are allowed to play freely with each other.

This

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manner of interaction helps them to develop better in the social aspect. Moreso, when they do

this

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under the supervision of their

teachers

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, they develop better team spirit which helps them in future.

However

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, some could argue that

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this

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is better done by their parents at home, but the skills that the

teachers

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have in doing

this

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is a bigger advantage.

For instance

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, an online journal I read concluded that

teachers

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are more effective in building social relationships among pupils than their parents. In summary,

school

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children

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benefit more from their

teachers

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, who teach them how to develop mentally and socially, when they spend time together in

school

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. I,

therefore

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, agree that they are the most influential in these two regards.

fbjatom50Tue Jun 18 2019

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Grammar and Accuracy

Although the essay is well structured and the ideas are clearly explained, be mindful of minor grammatical errors (for example: 'teachers play more roles' instead of 'teachers play a bigger role' or 'they mostly use this time meaningfully to solve various class works' should be 'they mostly use this time meaningfully to complete various classwork assignments') and slight issues with sentence structure (for example: 'Eventhough, some others may think' is better written as 'even though some may think').

Task Achievement

Make sure to provide accurate, concrete examples when making a point. Using more specific data and statistics could make your arguments much stronger. For instance, instead of saying 'It has been proved by various scholars...' you could say 'A study conducted by Harvard University proved...'.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

8.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

8.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

8.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statemtent.

Science is beneficial for society, so science students should get more support. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.