Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their acheivements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People in the public eye are and will always be an inspiration for
youngers
Suggestion
young
younger
.
However
, the current stardom of most of them
relys
have confidence or faith in
rely
on their glamour and
whealth
the state of being rich and affluent; having a plentiful supply of material goods and money
wealth
wheels
health
rather than on their talent. For
this
reason, it is argued that they represent a negative model to the new generations.
This
essay totally agree with
this
view. In the past, it
use
Suggestion
used
to be crucial to be either talented or
percistent
never-ceasing
persistent
to reach fame. Because the spots available in the media were extremely
escarce
only a very short time before
scarce
, people had to work hardly and prove their value to deserve that space
among
Suggestion
between
the stars.
For example
, only professionals
such
as actors, singers, politicians and
soccerplayers
Suggestion
soccer players
which had an out-standing
carees
a motor vehicle with four wheels; usually propelled by an internal combustion engine
cars
careers
cares
were famous at that time.
As a result
, young people use to understand high performance as an asset to
acheive
to gain with effort
achieve
sucssess
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
successes
sources
and eventually mirror it.
Nevertheless
,
this
scenary
an outline or synopsis of a play (or, by extension, of a literary work)
scenario
scenery
has
dramactly
changed with the advance of technology. With the ubiquity of the internet and rapid development of social media, anyone who exposes themselves on these platforms can become famous nowadays due to their popularity expressed trough likes and comments. Usually, these people become wealthy only by promoting business and brands to their audience.
Thus
, many young people are more interested in growing their
instagrans
than learning a profession. To conclude, I agree that the current way to
acheive
to gain with effort
achieve
fame is a
nocive
someone who has entered a religious order but has not taken final vows
novice
model to young generations and threats the
evolvement
the act of sharing in the activities of a group
involvement
of society as well.
Submitted by Layana on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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