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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #teachers #influence #intelligence #development #parents
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It is true that
school
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 children are at an impressionable age, and two strong influences on their
intelligence
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 and social
development
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 are teachers and parents. While I accept that teachers may have more influence on the
intelligence
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 of their pupils, I would argue that parents probably exert a greater influence on the social
development
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 of their children. In terms of encouraging the intellectual
development
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 and stimulating the
intelligence
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 of
school
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 children, I believe that teachers play the major role. While not all teachers are capable of inspiring their students, they are trained to impart their knowledge of their subject areas in challenging and imaginative ways.
For example
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, some students owe their lifelong love of a subject to dedicated teachers who taught
this
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 discipline in secondary
school
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. Of course, at home parents may
also
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 reinforce
this
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 passion by encouraging study habits during the formative years of their children.
Such
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 support is vital for academic achievement. From the perspective of social
development
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, I think that parents are mainly responsible for guiding their children.
Firstly
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, they spend far more time with their children than any individual teacher is able to do. They can
therefore
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 monitor the activities of children outside
school
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 hours, at weekends and during holidays.
Secondly
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, parents are able to provide role models in a whole range of situations. These might include showing respect towards elders, choice of friends, or proper behaviour in public when eating out in restaurants. In conclusion,
although
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 teachers probably have a greater effect in stimulating the
intelligence
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 of
school
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 children, parental influences on the
development
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 of children are stronger in social situations.
Submitted by Aarinola on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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