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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, Teenage crimes become a serious social problem. Some people think the
punishment
Use synonyms
 of them who commit heavy crimes should as same as the adults. Personally, I think the youth should not be punished in
same ways
Suggestion
the same ways
. The main reason is that the adolescents who do not have
complete personality
Suggestion
a complete personality
 cannot distinguish right and wrong.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the main propose of
punishment
Use synonyms
 is teach them the right value
instead
Linking Words
 of simply lock them away. Because most of them who come from dysfunctional families that nobody told them the current value.
For example
Linking Words
, normally, the prisons of juveniles have more therapists who aim to find the cause of
misbehavior
improper or wicked or immoral behavior
misbehaviour
, and make it right, which provide a way to help them live
normal life
Suggestion
a normal life
normal lives
.
In addition
Linking Words
, people of former prisoners who serve long
sentansecs
a string of words satisfying the grammatical rules of a language
sentences
 when they was young always back to crimes again, because they do not have any skill to make
living
Suggestion
a living
.
Hence
Linking Words
 another important reason of different
punishment
Use synonyms
is persuade
Suggestion
is persuading
has persuaded
is persuaded
persuades
 teenage prisoner learning skill during the sentences.
For example
Linking Words
, a new study is valuing the result of which teenagers who study programming in prison would have
lower chance
Suggestion
a lower chance
 of
second
Linking Words
 crime.
it
Suggestion
It
 is a good stand that young prisoners can learn a useful skill to live.
However
Linking Words
, if the youth
commit
Suggestion
commits
a
Suggestion
an
 inhumanity crime,
such
Linking Words
 as series killing, or massive shooting, I agree to punish them in the same way as adults due to the
dangerous
Suggestion
danger
dangers
 that they take
for
Suggestion
from
 the community. In summary, I believe that was necessary to have different
punishment
Use synonyms
 between adolescents and adult, which gives youth a chance to realize the mistake and back normal life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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