IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and opinion.

#parents #people #home
In general, living with a family is a common thing in Asia countries. Especially, in Taipei city, you need a bigger budget for renting an apartment alone.
Therefore
, many people want to stay with parents and it is a good way to save money. Despite, it could spend a lot of money on renting budget, there are still newly graduated students would like to be independent without control.
However
, it is convenient to get support from a family member, they supply food, even cook for you, or do the laundry and clean the room, less struggle daily. Some people get married and have children, grandparents will take care of them, no need babysitting who unknown to raising your kids.
On the contrary
, everything will be controlled by them, house rules and lack of living skills. Meanwhile, the person who likes to be diverse and challenge, they would choose to leave the house. In my opinion, it is a better solution for adults. Learning how to deal with daily issues.
For instance
, making yourself dinner that you have to know how to use the oven and grocery shopping.
Furthermore
, schedule and in charge personal lifestyle is a terrific ability and capacity to embrace loneliness and conquer difficulties in daily life. Meanwhile, facilitate living skills, become more responsible. Overall, parenting is a great learning process, when an adolescent becomes an adult, basic skills will be learned from experiences. Without the protection of the family, many confrontations waiting in our life, we must be prepared to fight for it.
Submitted by nekokarenpan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: