IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #cars #cities #source #pollution #waste #industries #ones
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the recent decades, cities, especially metropolises, have faced more pollution than ever before.
As a result
, a controversy has arisen over what is the primary reason behind
this
 predicament. While some people attribute it to the marked increase of cars, others would contend that the chief among all causes is industrial activities, which from my perspective, the latter is more accurate.
Although
 cars, undoubtedly, cause a detrimental effect on the urban environment, the catastrophe industrialism brings in its wake is much more disturbing. Emitting harmful gases to air, cars have always been considered as a danger to cities. The gravity of
this
 problem,
nonetheless
, has been alleviated thanks to significant alterations. Electric cars are going into publicity as a substitute for conventional pollutant cars. Government,
furthermore
, is determined to take an environmentally friendly approach by allocating more expenditure of public transportation, which culminate in a decline in the number of cars.
Hence
, the side effects of overusing cars are going to be marginal in the foreseeable future. In stark contrast, never have been urban districts experienced
such
 industrial growth in the history. Modern lifestyle which consumerism plays a major role in, leads to a marked boost in the construction of factories, with the aim of providing a wide range of multi-coloured products for consumer society. Having occupied the suburbs, factories are likely to encroach into the heart of cities in the future. If it happens, cities’ degradation will occur. Unfortunately, not only does
thiss
denotes a person or thing
this
 damage ruin cities, but it
also
 brings long-term consequences to ecosystem in the shape of global warming and extinction of species. By way of conclusion, both cars and factories are culprit for cities’ pollution. Industrial issue,
however
, is the pivot in which the catastrophe turns.
Submitted by ukmpiunsulbar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: