IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Team sports are general promoted as a great way to keep fit and build character. However, sporting events such as soccer matches are often accompanied by violence between rival supporters and other forms of antisocial behavior. If sporting events can lead to antisocial behavior, can team sports really be good for us?

#team #sports #character #events #soccer #violence #supporters #forms #behavior
Team
 sports are praised for promoting good health and building
team
 spirit.
However
, the supporters of
such
 sport teams lack sporting behaviour. They get involved in violent acts to support their teams leading to menace and other anti-social behaviour.
Such
 acts are detrimental for the society as it disrupts
peace
Suggestion
the peace
 and harmony in the
community
. Due to
this
, some people are raising questions on the positive impacts
such
 sports events can have on the society. As per my opinion, though the spectator at times get involved in anti – social activities, it cannot eclipse the benefits these
team
 sports bring about.
Team
 sports and events are an occasion during which, all the
community
 members come
together leaving
Accept comma addition
together, leaving
 behind their difference’s basis caste, creed, colour or for that matter gender. The only religion they worship, is
sports
Suggestion
a sports
 and togetherness.
This
 has promoted a harmonious living amongst communities. To exemplify, recently during the cricket world cup finale, many spectators were from countries different from the countries of the players on
ground
Suggestion
the ground
. It
sends
pass time in a specific way
spends
 about a message of unity and friendship, irrespective of the country to which they belonged to. Contact sports are
also
 a great form of an entertainment, that promotes good health. Many children look up to the players and engage themselves in contact sports that help in their physical development.
Such
 sport activities have
also
 contributed towards
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
inter personal
occurring among or involving several people
interpersonal
 skills along with good health of the people. To conclude, the
community
 benefits of
such
team
 sport events outweigh the concerns over the anti-social behaviour of some fans.
Such
 notorious acts are controllable, if the players of the
team
 they idolise promote peace and unity. As
such
, it is imperative to have
such
 events to keep oneness and well-being in the
community
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: