Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It is often argued that the earth struggles with several
issues
. Namely, collapsing some species
and other environmental actions. While
some people advocate that losing specific breeds of plants and animals is the most significant harm for
the earth, others believe that there are more essential troubles for the planet. Change preposition
to
However
, this
essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of the letter.
On the one hand, it is obvious that some breeds living on the surface of the earth could contribute to other species
. In other words
, breeds in the world are connected to each other in order to proceed with their life. For example
, in the case of devastating bees in nature, roughly over 100 species
might be directly affected by it. Moreover
, a myriad of plants, including a photosynthesis skill, enhance the quality of air. For instance
, in 2019 a vast majority of roses were suddenly removed by fire. As a result
, the proportion of oxygen in the air dropped to a 17% level.
On the other hand
, in contemporary times, humans' lifetimes have decreased to almost 78 age due to
a multitude of issues
in the environment. In other words
, pollution
is a fundamental trouble for 21st-century individuals since not only does pollution
harm the environment, but it can also
damage the density of the soil. Therefore
, the nutrition consumed by people has been deteriorating over the century. Besides
, the greenhouse effect has extreme drawbacks for the population. Although
some barriers for
it are being considered by administrations, the acceleration of the problem will increase in the future. Change preposition
to
For instance
, it is predicted by scientists that it will lead to high temperatures, consisting of 65 degrees, in 2032.
In my opinion, the greenhouse effect and pollution
issues
have more negative impacts on our nature. Therefore
, as humans we ought to take into consideration troubles since in the future we will not have a place that we are able to inhabit.
In conclusion, some problems which are about death of species
, pollution
, and the greenhouse effect decrease humans' life quality. However
, this
essay believes that current problems, involving greenhouses and pollution
made by locals bring about more serious issues
for 21st-century individuals.Submitted by samedsaysg on
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Task Achievement
Work on providing clearer and more distinct examples to support your arguments. This could improve the specificity and relevance of your examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
General
Revise your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance overall readability.
Task Achievement
You've successfully discussed both views as requested by the task, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?