Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

#role #people #lives #trend

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In modern times, people are spending their majority of

time

Use synonyms

in working in order to obtain wealth.

Therefore

Linking Words

, people strive for working unremittingly no matter the result is

benefit

Suggestion

beneficial

or not. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will offer the underlying

reason

Use synonyms

for working unremitting and give the opinion why

this

Linking Words

trend could be negative to people. The primary

reason

Use synonyms

for people tend to work so much is that one is

strive

Suggestion

striving

for possessing

the high

Suggestion

the highest

quality of lives. With earning more wealth, people can treat themselves better.

For instance

Linking Words

, employees can move closer to companies, so they can

reduce reduce the

Suggestion

reduce the

commuting

time

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, parents

persue

carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in

pursue

peruse

person

to earn more money in order to give their children

well

Suggestion

good

education. People

also

Linking Words

have more opportunities to go

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

due to the better

wealth

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

condition.

Thus

Linking Words

, almost everyone in the world

endeavor

Suggestion

endeavours

endeavour

to work so hard even it is a heavy burden for them. To my way of thinking,

this

Linking Words

brings negative consequences in the aspect of health issue. Once people over-worked,

this

Linking Words

means that their body cannot afford the excessive working load. As

time

Use synonyms

goes by, their body may

beaffected

Suggestion

be affected

by some diseases.

However

Linking Words

, these diseases may not diagnose in the short term, but diseases are already harmed to bodies slowly. Reducing the leisure

time

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with families is another

reason

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why I consider working too much is a vicious trend. The

reason

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lies in people who spend their major

time

Use synonyms

on working is easier to

alienated

Suggestion

alienate

from their families. Once family relationship is ignored, it is difficult to repair. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

seeking for higher quality of lives is

positive

Suggestion

positively

to individual and the whole society, people still need to concern more about potential health problems and

time

Use synonyms

distribution simultaneously.

Submitted by ichihyi.lin on Fri Aug 30 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend who invited you to visit them in their country. Express your appreciation of the invitation Write the date of the visit Write about the things you want to do there

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Some people argue that the retirement age should be raised significantly, given that average life expectancy has increased greatly. To what extent do you agree or disagree?