IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples from your own experience.

#people #work
It is often thought by some individuals that payment according to the output and sales done by the employees is the appropriate method to prompt their efforts in their duties and responsibilities. In my opinion, I agree that accurate monetary compensation should commensurate their productivity as
this
 enables employees to be diligent and honest in their work.
To begin
 with, the effective remuneration of
staff
 according to their production activities plays an important role in the diligence
to
Suggestion
in
 their work.
This
 is because when they feel satisfied with the conditions of service
,
Accept space
,
 it simply implies that both the
staff
 and the management will benefit from
this
.
For instance
, in 2018,
shoprite’s
Suggestion
Shoprite’s
supports
 human resources department was interviewed by journalist concerning their high rate of
staff
 recruitment, and their striking response was that they ensure that employees are paid according to their achievement which in turn attracts job seekers to apply for a position in their organisation. Another point to consider is that in order for the company to meet the target they aim for in the stock exchange market, the level of productivity
that is
 being done by its employees is absolutely important.
However
, the
turn over
the ratio of the number of workers that had to be replaced in a given time period to the average number of workers
turnover
 of the Organisation is determined according to the individual effort of the team. To illustrate,
Cocacola
Suggestion
Coca cola
 topped the list of the firms that made higher profit in a decade because of the constant increment in their sales turnover during that period.
Furthermore during
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, during
 the recognition award ceremony, the CEO stated that the dedication of his
staff
 made
this
 record a reality. In conclusion, workers tend to be more
pro active
descriptive of any event or stimulus or process that has an effect on events or stimuli or processes that occur subsequently
proactive
 when they are rewarded accurately by their employers which in turn
also
 gain higher turnover and profit in the stock exchange market.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic preference
  • liberating
  • physical activity
  • chronic diseases
  • natural light
  • job satisfaction
  • environmental connection
  • monotonous
  • dynamic
  • stimulating
  • fulfilling career
  • creativity
  • inspire
  • office politics
  • corporate structures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: