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Band 6

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#technologies #children #time
These days, the ways that children consume their leisure
time
 are quite different from the past because of the development of modern technologies. R
egardless there
Accept comma addition
Regardless, there
are some drawbacks, it seems that the positive impacts have a bigger influence. On one hand, there is a vast range of advantages that children could gain when they spend
time
 on using cutting-edge devices.
First
 of all, nowadays their parents might have less
time
 to spend on playing with them,
therefore
 some electrical items
such
 as mobile phones, personal computers and cameras could be a great solution in order to avoid getting bored.
Secondly
, applying into learning
also
 is a huge benefit that children could obtain through innovative technologies. To be more specific, children who use new technologies in studying seem l
earning
Suggestion
to learn
better who are not because they could not only get access to up-to-date information but
also
 use it anywhere and anytime instantly by new equipment.
For example
, learning a foreign language requires a lot of
time
 and repetition, children could utilize f
unctions
Suggestion
the functions
of modern computers in both ways: entertainment and studying. c
hildren
Suggestion
Children
could watch comedy shows while learning grammar and vocabularies from it.
On the other hand
, it is true that some negative influence could affect children terribly. In some cases, a lot of children are distracted from studying or healthy activities due to immersion in using new technologies.
That is
 to say, teenagers have immature personalities,
hence
, they could be easily addicted t
o use
Suggestion
to using
state-of-the-art t
echnologies including
Accept comma addition
technologies, including
social media, games so as to entertain themselves.
As a result
, lack of
time
 s
pending
Suggestion
spent
on outdoor activities is inevitable. Clearly,
this
 detrimental effect related to some horrible impacts
such
 as e
ye-sight
normal use of the faculty of vision
eyesight
problems, obesity. In conclusion, despite a few drawbacks could be established, the variety of huger benefits is much more significant and people nowadays should let their children approaching modern technologies without hesitation.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
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