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Nowadays people spend too much time at work to the extent that they hardly have time for their personal life. Discuss

#people #time #work #life
In
21st century
Suggestion
the 21st century
, the living expenses have become too high, to live a comfortable and luxurious people are
runing
(American football) a play in which a player attempts to carry the ball through or past the opposing team
running
 behind money. They have become too busy
in
Suggestion
with
 their official works and spend less time with their families and loved ones. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my viewpoints. To
comence
take the first step or steps in carrying out an action
commence
 with, to meet the daily needs and expenses people are working for long hours which have
detremental effect
Suggestion
a detrimental effect
detrimental effect
detrimental effects
 on their health and family. People are becoming obese
end mentally
Accept comma addition
end, mentally
 unstable. They are spending less time
woh
the person or persons that; the one that
who
how
 their families which lead to clashes
amoung
in the middle of
among
couples which
Accept comma addition
couples, which
 sometimes end
with
Suggestion
in
 divorce and destroys the whole family.Probing ahead, people who are working for long hours have negative impact on their children. Their kids will be brought up by some
third
person
 and will not be
nurished
being provided with adequate nourishment
nourished
 by them so
,
Accept space
,
 they could fall in the wrong hands.
Further
, work pressure for achieving targets can make a
person
unahappy which
Accept comma addition
unhappy, which
unhappy which
 be brought up by
somethird
Suggestion
some third
person
 and will not be
nurished
being provided with adequate nourishment
nourished
 by them so
,
Accept space
,
 they could fall in the wrong hand.
Further
, work pressure for achieving targets can make a
person
unahappy which
Suggestion
unhappy, which
unhappy which
 directly
imapct
the striking of one body against another
impact
 the family as he will burst out on family members only.<
br
Suggestion
Br
.To conclude, one should balance
the the
definite article
the
 work life and the family life because both things are important in life People should not leave their family
behid
further back than; at the back of; at the far side of
behind
 to achieve some other official goals.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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