IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our world as a whole. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?

#future #people #years #news #individuals #consequences #world #risks
Some scientists have predicted the possibility of people living for longer years.
Although
this
 could be soothing to hear, but it may have a serious effect on the
society
 at large, while
this
 innovation will allow people to spend more quality time with their families and
also
 achieve more with their careers, we shouldn't fail to recognise the bad impact it would have on the
society
. Certainly, there are some advantages in people living longer than usual.
Firstly
, people could have more pleasure living the life they envisage and spend more valuable time with their loved ones
such
 as, trying to live a different lifestyle.
Furthermore
, people could contribute more to their community development if they have a longer lifespan.
For example
, there is an adage that says "the more we live the more we learn" people could discover a permanent cure to a killer disease like AIDS and Cancer.
Nonetheless
, allowing people to live for 150 years could pose a greater challenge. People might be unhealthy in their later years because part of their body organs will be weak and might not function properly.
For instance
, old age comes with different kinds of diseases
such
 as diabetes, kidney failure and so on.
Also
, an increase in the older population may put pressure on the social welfare system
such
 as, wasting
society
's resources on the elderly
instead
 of concentrating on the younger ones. In conclusion, the beneficial aspect of allowing people to live for long cannot be compared to the damage it will cause to people's health and the
society
 at large.
Submitted by bolud.akinyemi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: