Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several individuals suggest that young generations ought to have a full-time education until they reach the age of 18. I personally view
this
suggestion as the best proposal, as it is
also
readily a norm in several countries.
This
essay will provide some arguments to back
this
idea. From my standpoint, it is essential to pursue a higher level of education, which means that continuing to the 10th grade is critical.
In particular
countries, the minimum educational requirement is to study up to the 9th grade.
This
situation is disadvantageous, given that many students lack the advanced knowledge and skills that are typically valuable for tertiary education,
hence
, it is advisable to finish the foundation stages until at least 12th or even 13th grade. Based on my observation, people with higher levels of qualifications tend to have better job prospects,
as well as
more capable of competing in real
life
. A rigorous 12-year study involves a profound engagement with a vast array of academic fields, ranging from social science to mathematics, including
also
complex materials of biology and chemistry. These areas of expertise are essential for individuals to run a
life
insightfully. Imagining a scenario where people live a
life
without basic lore highlights an invaluable world, where people just walk upon the earth cluelessly. Ultimately, I entirely believe that pursuing the next level of school grades should become a standard, with the aim of producing wholesome generations.
Furthermore
, higher school grades
also
equip students with comprehensive understandings that are useful for a professional
life
.
Submitted by syarahfatiha321 on

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language use
Strive to incorporate a more diverse range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall sophistication of your essay. This will not only improve the flow of your arguments but also make your writing more engaging for the reader.
development
Consider including specific examples or data to support your arguments further. While your essay already does a good job at this, concrete examples can add more depth and persuasiveness to your points.
argumentation
Keep working on establishing clear connections between your main points and the essay question. You've done well, but refining this skill will make your arguments even more compelling.
structure
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes your argument, demonstrating a well-structured approach to the topic.
content depth
You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the subject matter, offering comprehensive and well-supported points throughout your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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