IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#information #sales #prices #coca-cola #report #university #lecturer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates information about the
share
price
 of Coca-Cola, between 1996 and 2001 and the chart shows data about the
sales
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft drink in five continents in the
year
 2000.
Overall
, In the
year
 2000, North America contributed to the highest number of Coca-Cola
sales
. Middle-East and Africa are the places where the
sales
 are minimum.
On the other hand
, there was an upward trend in the
share
price
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft drink during the initial period, followed by a decline and fluctuations in the end. In the
year
 2000, when
sales
 of Coca-Cola are minimum,
North-America
Correct your spelling
North America
show examples
 contributed to the highest percentage with 30.4% of global consumption. It was followed by Latin America and Europe with 25.7% and 20.5% respectively. Consumption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft drink is quite better in Asia compared to Africa and
Middle-East
Correct your spelling
Middle East
show examples
 with 16.4%.
Finally
, with only 7% of global usage Africa and
Middle-East
Correct your spelling
Middle East
show examples
stands
Correct subject-verb agreement
stand
show examples
last
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
. Regarding the
share
price
 of the company, it started
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 40$ in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year
 1996,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that the
price
 increased rapidly till
mid 1997
Add a hyphen
mid-1997
show examples
, reaching a value of just under 70. At
this
 point, the
share
 declined significantly, reaching approximately 60$.
Following
this
, it
went-up
Correct your spelling
went up
show examples
 considerably to a value of around 80$ in 1998, which is the peak value of the
share
 in the given period.
Next
, the
share
price
 declined steadily to under 50$ by 2000.
Finally
, the
share
price
 fluctuated and reached 55$ by the end of the period.
Submitted by Goutham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words share, price, sales, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuations
  • market share
  • geographic distribution
  • revenue
  • financial performance
  • quarterly reports
  • shareholder
  • economic indicators
  • consumer behavior
  • aggregate data
  • profit margins
  • fiscal period
  • trend analysis
  • variance
  • growth rate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: