schools for young children have become more or less competitive than before. agree or disagree

In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of individuals comparing the rivalry in departments for young learners and its impact on various aspects of early education. On the one hand, there are those who believe that
this
competition has indeed increased.
However
, critics strongly oppose
this
view and believe that the level of rivalry has remained the same. In
this
essay, it will be argued that schools for the young have indeed become more competitive than before.
To begin
with, there is an argument to be made that meeting in early education has grown substantially for several primary reasons, foremost being the availability and spread of online educational platforms.
For example
, youths with access to these resources can significantly improve their knowledge and skills, which, in turn, creates a disparity between those who have
such
access and those who do not.
For
this
reason, it is evident that the proliferation of academic websites has allowed children to enhance their understanding of subjects like math, science, and programming, giving them a competitive edge in their educational performance.
This
being the case, it can be assumed that if the utilization of online learning platforms continues to increase, the
overall
level of competition among young learners will indeed rise. Another aspect to consider is the increased parental expectations for intellectual achievement.
This
perspective is supported by the example of parents enrolling their youngsters in numerous extracurricular activities and enrichment programs to ensure their academic success.
Thereafter
, it is obvious that parental pressure contributes to the increased determination among young children. Given that, it can be stated that if parents continue to push for higher academic standards, it will result in an even more competitive environment for young pupils. In conclusion,
while
the importance of online educational platforms is evident
due to
their potential to provide children with a competitive edge, the significance of increased parental expectations cannot be overstated. Enhancing the benefits of these educational tools and addressing the pressures placed on young students is essential for the sustainable development of societies.
Submitted by tahsin.adam3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay effectively argues that schools for young children have become more competitive, it could benefit from more specific and varied examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and consistent use of vocabulary to avoid minor inaccuracies and enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, providing a clear overview and summary of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point, contributing to overall coherence.
task achievement
You provide clear and comprehensive ideas, addressing both sides of the argument before presenting your standpoint, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental Expectations
  • Standardized Testing
  • Technological Advancements
  • Globalization
  • Diverse Curriculum
  • Extracurricular Activities
  • Specialized Programs
  • Funding and Resources
  • Academic Pressure
  • Competitive Environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: