IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Television has dominated the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree

#television #time #people
Electronic screens are most often presented in the human life. Peoples' spare time occupying them with TV and isolate them from the outside world and healthy manner.
This
 essay will describe a person's relationship with a machine and why I fully agree with it. It is often argued that the television should create a big impact on the human movement and communication with others.
Although
 I agree that digital screens plays too much important role, while neglected oven health and socialization. On the one hand, the digitalisation definitely allocate a large part of peoples life.
For example
, any person can live without screens, but absence of fitness will create significant problems. That's why the people should adequately think of themselves in the
first
 place, and should not be preoccupied with a machine.
On the other hand
, the television determines the overall quality of the life, since all information is an integral part of the society.
Firstly
, music, movies or politics can be used as an instrument for the communication and better socialization.
Also
, many fitness programs exist, which can motivate people to be more active and think on the own health.
Moreover
, if individuals can control oven occupation with television,
then
 I disagree with these as a problem. To conclude, that agrees that the electronic screens should allocate less our time on
such
 urgent needs to embrace society of
such
 behaviour can develop negative impact on their overall well-being.
Submitted by 1981iris on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: