The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

When discussing the possible causes of
pediatric
of or relating to the medical care of children
paediatric
obesity
, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue. Some people believe that the main problem leading to
obesity
is the rapidly growing number of fast
food
restaurants, which provides an unhealthy but cheap meal. Others, including myself, think that parents carry the main responsibility
to
Suggestion
for
this
growing epidemic. In the following essay, I will provide arguments and examples to support my opinion. Parental
responsibilty
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
as educators is, in my opinion, a major cause in
children's overweight problem
Suggestion
the children's overweight problem
a children's overweight problem
. Parents should educate their children, from an early age, about the fundamental components of
food
such
as carbohydrates, proteins and fats.
Furthermore
, kids should be taught about the importance of a balanced diet and to avoid foods rich with sugar and fat, like
sweat
a dish served as the last course of a meal
sweet
beverages and red meat. According to the New York Times,
for example
, there is a linear relationship between
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
children's
overweight and parental presence in the child's education.
This
shows that parents have a
cricual
of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis
crucial
critical
role in
obesity
among children. Another reason explaining why parents are responsible for
peaditric
of or relating to the medical care of children
paediatric
obesity
is that in developed
countires
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
adults are forced to spend many hours working.
As a result
, parents cook less in comparison to other countries, and the children are forced to rely on fast
food
. A family,
for example
, where both parents work 8 hours a day, will not be able to provide a hot and healthy meal for their children when they come back from school.
Consequently
, these children will likely order
food
from a
near by
close at hand
nearby
fast
food
restaurant.
This
demonstrates that parental presence
have
Suggestion
has
a valuable role in their children's diet, and without it their chances of overweight might increase. In conclusion, I
beleive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
that parents have an important role in educating children about the importance of a correct diet, and in providing them a nutritional meal rather than fast
food
. We should take care of our
childrens
Suggestion
child's
children
child
children's
life.
Submitted by chilafp on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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