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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, children have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Even though children are more likely to ruin their health by eating unhealthy foods and not taking exercise. At my point both families and schools take particular responsibility and they can do ranges of things in
this
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 case. In these days most of parents are so busy and they can't put lots of time to supervision on their children. So they prefer to give their children money to buy food as their meal.
As a result
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, children can buy whatever they like without any disagreement from their parents. In
this
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 case parents are responsible to make sure their children eat healthy food. One of the solution is to pack a lunch box for them.
On the other hand
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, children take most of their life at schools. In
this
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 point, schools are responsible to have awareness of what children eat and what they do in their free hours. Another factor that has remarkable effect on Children's lifestyle is addicting to unhealthy entertainment. Like over using cell phone, watching too much television, playing video games and not taking exercise. At
this
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 time children are responsible about their habits and they should try to break these kinds of habits and replace them with healthy and good habits. Like taking sport classes and having a balance diet. Generally, in my opinion, about children's lifestyle, both parents and schools have responsibility for it.
Although
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 the children they have to consider the consequences of their bad habits and try to break them.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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