IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You are studying English at a private language school attended by many international students. You are planning a surprise birthday party for a friend who has been feeling particularly sad and homesick. Write to another classmate and invite him / her to the party. In your letter: •explain the reason for the party •give the date and time of the party •suggest what the classmate could bring to the party Begin your letter as follows: Dear ________

Dear John, Hope you are doing great. I am writing
this
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 letter inviting you to Eshen's upcoming birthday and I am planning to organize a party to celebrate it.
Firstly
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, the reason for organizing
this
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 celebration is that he told me that he has been feeling homesick since
last
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 month, as he has been away from his family, for more than two years.
Subsequently
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, he
also
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 expressed his loneliness which he was feeling throughout the years without any therapy. All these events motivated me to celebrate his birthday which in return could bring joy and fulfilment as we express our care towards him. I am currently planning to organize it on the 15th of October 2025 at 7PM, which I assume, is the first day of our reading week, and I hope most of us will find time to attend the party.
However
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, we are focused on saving money on dining, and
instead
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 of ordering we are arranging a potluck. I will share the Excel sheet in our group chat to let me know your choices of dishes you can prepare to prevent overlapping. Looking forward to seeing you at the event. Cheers, David

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task achievement
Consider adding a more personal touch or anecdote about Eshen to make the letter feel warmer and more inviting.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph sticks to a single idea and flows smoothly into the next to enhance coherence further. For example, discussing Eshen’s feelings of homesickness could be a separate paragraph from the party details.
task achievement
The letter has a clear invitation and provides necessary details about the party. Great job on providing a specific date and time!
coherence and cohesion
Good use of a friendly tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for the context of inviting a classmate.
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