IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People are more mobile nowadays. They seldom live in one city all their lives. Why do you think this is happening? What are the consequences of this trend?

#people #city #lives #consequences #trend
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Mobilizing from
one
 place to another is becoming a trend for many people these days.
This
 essay will discuss the cause of
this
 phenomenon, and it will
also
 explain the impacts of it in detail. Having to mobilize from
one
 area to another is aimed almost exclusively by many people to have a better
career
 opportunity in their lives. As we may be aware, certain areas, especially in the urban cities, are more developed and it is normally occupied by many companies. Living in
such
 places may increase people’s chance to be employed, especially by a well-known company, which would enable them to climb a
career
 ladder faster, and
as a result
, they will have a better
career
 prospect in their lives.
This
 can be seen by a growing number of workers, who tend to live in a bigger city as there are plenty of jobs available. It is for
this
 reason, many people like to be mobile in order to pursue their
career
 path. Moving from
one
 place to another is not without its consequences,
however
. Some people may find it extremely hard to adapt to a new place due to the culture differences. Sometimes, they are not used to the local customs, which can be differ from their own. In Japan,
for instance
, people tend to work longer hours than ever before, and it may greatly impact the people, who just moved into the country, as they are not be able to stand with the Japanese's working culture.
Furthermore
, the fact that
one
 should be separated from their family for a long period of time is another impact of the mobilization. These people often feel homesick as they are being apart from their loved ones and can only meet them on a certain occasion only. In conclusion, while being mobile is often opted by some people due to the
career
-related reasons, the consequences can be detrimental as they have to adjust to the new environment and the fact that they should be apart from their families.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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