Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources

It is a nasty fact that people believe that the animals would not have any place to live in the

century and so, these days do not consider saving

wild

all living things (except people) that are undomesticated

wildlife

life

as their utmost priority. I vary with the statement and would want to explain that saving

wild

all living things (except people) that are undomesticated

wildlife

life

would be beneficial

for

Suggestion

our

survivial

a state of surviving; remaining alive

survival

. Animals are important to our own existence, they are the one who

maintain

Suggestion

maintains

the food chain and keep it intact.

For example

, frogs are

essential source

Suggestion

an essential source

the essential source

essential sources

of the chain if they are

extinct

Accept comma addition

extinct, then

then

there would be a distract increase in mosquitoes, which can cause harm to humans.

Thus

, Animals are very much needed in our

life

and we need to ensure their protection as our prime responsibility.

Furthermore

, the World is their home

also, we are

Suggestion

, we are also

sharing our

spaces

Suggestion

space

with them, we have got no right to infringe their boundaries and leave them no space to survive.

On the contrary

, being a superior

species it

Accept comma addition

species, it

becomes our

accountablity

responsibility to someone or for some activity

accountability

to make

this

World a better livable place for all the breathing things.

Therefore

, it becomes are main

responsiblity

the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force

responsibility

to protect these animals. In conclusion, Earth is a shared place, it is not ours not theirs.

Eventhough

Suggestion

Even though

we may not consider

wild

all living things (except people) that are undomesticated

wildlife

life

to be important and worth protecting, we still sure know that they are necessary for our lives,

hence

, I

completly

to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent

completely

disagree with the fact that protecting

wild

all living things (except people) that are undomesticated

wildlife

life

is a waste of time.

Submitted by write2navleen on Mon Nov 18 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

241 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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