It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. To what extent do you agree.

Some

people

argue that

people

who visit foreign countries are more open to differences and they are able to understand others in a better way. I strongly agree with

this

statement because of the reasons which will be discussed in

this

essay. It is scientifically proven that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

interaction with

people

of different

cultures

can affect one’s personality to a great extent. When

people

go to foreign countries, they have to face unfamiliar

situations

. Living in

such

unfamiliar

situations

makes

people

more adaptable to different circumstances.

Thus

they will become more tolerant of change/difference.

This

personality trait will help them to take more risks and accept changes in the future. As these kinds of

people

are more exposed to different lifestyles, customs and food habits, they understand others better.

By contrast

people

who are not exposed to different

cultures

will be more narrow-minded than

people

who travel overseas frequently. It is difficult for them to adapt to unfamiliar

situations

compared to

people

who

travelled

Wrong verb form

travel

show examples

and

got

Verb problem

are

show examples

exposed to different

cultures

This

is evident among uneducated

people

living in rural areas. They do not have much exposure to the outside world. They are very comfortable with their locality and they follow only

traditional

Correct article usage

the traditional

show examples

way of life. It is very difficult for them to embrace change.

And

Correct word choice

Also

show examples

also

, it is difficult for them to understand and accept

people

who follow a different lifestyle. In conclusion,

people

who are exposed to different

cultures

and practices are more open to different

situations

. They are tolerant and venture into new avenues with an open mind and they understand

people

better than

people

who do not travel much.

Submitted by sevis24575 on Sat Nov 23 2019

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task response

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing how travel can enhance tolerance and understanding. To improve task response, ensure you directly answer all aspects of the prompt and provide a more balanced view by acknowledging potential counterarguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a logical flow. To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure your examples are relevant and support your main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. To what extent do you agree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some cultures think old people are of higher value than the youth, while other cultures value the youth more. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars.

Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?