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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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During the time, the living condition of the most population is changing: the technology development and the well results getting into science researching leads to think that maybe, the age at which someone retires from his working activity should be increased markedly. In each part of the globe, the medical issues drop considerably,
thus
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 the health of older people is better.
Although
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, some type of job needs to physical well-being and above all, strong muscles, in
this
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 way only an adult or a young person could do
this
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 task.
For example
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, my father is a farmer and even though the possibility of using many medicines, he is always tired when returns from working:
in other words
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, in the future, he will not able to make the choice of continuing his activity in the country. Contrary to
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, other people could be helped by new electronic resources, and likely, going in their workplace when they are older too. Despite
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, it analyses the situation about young people, the surge of retirement age crates an economic trouble, so after they finish the school, the number of available jobs plummet dramatically. Summing up, the real problem is the lack of possibility to relax
next
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 to a life, where somebody had worked a lot.
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,
this
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 concept generates an alienated condition, inasmuch as our existence is focused on being employees, and not people which feel many emotions. At the end, the government should give the choice of keeping your workplace for a few years after the actual retirement age, but
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 shouldn't be an obligation.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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